about calvin :)



hi world, i am calvin!
i am six this year.
hobbes is my best friend :)

blog disclaimer!

calvin does not bear responsibility for any side-effects that you might experience after reading this blog. if you should suffer from any withdrawal symptoms, please seek immediate medical advice. otherwise, please hang on for the next update.


* what you'd have missed *



Saturday, December 16, 2006

perfect day for a woman:
08:15 wake up to hugs and kisses.
08:30 weigh 5 lb. lighter than yesterday.
08:45 breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
09:15 soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.
13:00 shopping with friends.
15:00 nap.
16:00 a dozen roses delivered by florist. card is from a secret admirer.
16:15 light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.
17:30 pick outfit for dinner. primp before mirror.
19:30 candlelight dinner for two, followed by dancing.
22:00 hot shower. alone.
22:30 make love.
23:00 pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
23:15 fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

perfect day for a man:
06:00 alarm.
06:15 blowjob.
06:30 massive dump while reading the sports section.
07:00 breakfast. filet mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
07:30 limo arrives.
07:45 bloody mary en route to airport.
08:15 private jet to augusta, georgia.
09:30 limo to augusta national golf club.
09:45 play front nine at augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 heinekens.
12:15 blowjob.
12:30 play back nine at augusta, finish 4 under par.
14:15 limo back to airport. drink 2 bombay martinis.
14:30 private jet to nassau, bahamas. nap.
15:15 late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
16:30 catch world record light tackle marlin -1249 lbs.
17:00 jet back home. en route, get massage from naked supermodel.
19:00 dinner. lobster appetizers, 1963 dom perignon, 20 oz. new york strip steak.
21:00 relax after dinner with 1789 augler cognac and cohiba cuban cigar.
22:00 have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
23:00 massage and jacuzzi.
23:45 go to bed.
23:50 let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. watch the dog leave the room.
23:55 laugh yourself to sleep.


calvin [ 2:35 PM ]